Grief is a universal experience: losing a loved one deeply shakes our emotional, psychological, and social balance. Yet it remains taboo, often misunderstood, and lived in solitude.
What a grieving person goes through
Grief is not just sadness. It is a complex process of shock, denial, anger, guilt, distress, emptiness, and sometimes relief or withdrawal. It also affects the body (insomnia, fatigue, pain) and isolates the bereaved, who often face clumsy words or painful silences.
The hardest losses
Some circumstances make grief even heavier:
- sudden or unexpected death,
- the death of a child or unborn baby,
- ambivalent or unrecognized bonds,
- absence of rituals,
- multiple accumulated losses.
These situations can intensify the suffering or block the process.
When grief becomes complicated
Grief becomes concerning when a person remains frozen in pain: ruminations, inability to resume life, refusal of reality, chronic depression or anxiety. This is not weakness, but a sign that professional support is needed.
Resources & support that help
Everyone relies on different inner strengths: humor, spirituality, art, writing, support from loved ones or therapy. Some defenses (sublimation, symbolization) can support healing, while others (persistent denial, repression) may hinder it. What matters is not the length of grief, but the ability to give meaning to absence, to rebuild an inner bond with the deceased, and to reengage with life. Empathic guidance can free expression, help navigate the stages, and aid in rebuilding a wounded identity. The goal is not to forget, but to transform the bond: to live with it, differently.
When grief becomes an invisible wound: 3 real stories
Mrs. Khadija – The weight of a long farewell
At 56, Khadija cared for her sick husband for over 30 years. When he passed away after a long illness, people told her she was “prepared.” But no one ever truly is. Emotionally and physically exhausted, she hid her suffering until her body collapsed: insomnia, panic attacks. With therapy, she finally allowed herself to cry and to say:
“I miss him every day. But I’m no longer ashamed to cry.”
Mrs. Aïcha – The violence of emptiness
At 49, Aïcha suddenly lost her 21 year old son in an accident. No goodbye, no meaning—she kept repeating: “This can’t be true.” Her daily life was silence and physical pain. She stopped sleeping, and her relatives avoided the subject. Therapy helped her rebuild an inner bond with her son—not to forget him, but to live on despite the pain.
Mrs. Lamia – Mourning without a cradle
At 33, Lamia lost her baby during pregnancy. Those around her minimized it: “You’re still young.” But for her, he was a child, a project, a dream. She suffered a profound grief marked by emptiness and the lack of rituals. Therapy helped her write a letter to her child and affirm her bond:“I never held him in my arms. But I still carry him in my heart.”
Conclusion
Grief is not weakness, but an intimate trial. Each person moves at their own pace, sometimes with invisible scars. These testimonies remind us: it is not about forgetting, but about transforming the relationship with the deceased to reinvest in life. And no one should have to walk this path in silence.